“School at Its worst” by Alex Loftin

First, I have to wake up at the crack of dawn with an alarm clock right in my ear. It’s going “RING, RING, RING, RING!!!” Bright and early in the morning. When I slam down on the snooze button 100,000 time my mother come storming down the hallway like an angry bear, yelling “Alex, get out of bed! You have school today!” Trust me, that’s when I roll my eyes and slither out of bed like a dying snake. I only wish I was a dying snake, but no, I’m getting dressed with my eyes half closed and my mind 100% asleep. After a thirty-five minute shower and my eyes finally opening up, I walk downstairs to have a mom yell into my ear to take the dogs out. By that point I’m already done but no, oh no, I still have sixteen or more hours left to my day, lucky me...

            After I’m done complaining I suck it up and realize I have to go every day, five days a week. Kill me. After being kicked out of my house to go wait on the roadside curb, just waiting to catch Pneumonia, an old, dilapidated, yellow, piece of crap to bring me to the place I despise the most rolls in front of my house . When I get on I’m greeted by a roll of the eyes from a man who is probably seven times older than me and who looks like he haven’t even passed the seventh grade. I want to just throw my middle finger right up right in-between his old, wrinkly, disgusting face, but if I did that there would be serious repercussions, and not the good ones. So I just kindly take my seat and wait for the next pitiful kid to slouch on.

            The next fifteen minutes of sleeping are pretty nice until the screeching sound of the 50- year old brakes comes to a slow and obnoxious stop. The dog pile of brainless zombies trying to fit out of a five foot door is annoying but not even close to how bad the rest of this day will be. I walk in to be welcomed by gross, sweaty, teens screaming in a small, cramped hallway. Again, the familiar sound of, “RING, RING, RING, RING!!!” Makes me want to cut off my ears and throw them into a pot of boiling water. But I get used to it. I hear it about eighteen times a day. That’s roughly ninety times a week, and about 360 times a month, and it’s about 3,240 times a year. Yeah, that’s a lot of annoying bells…

            After my panic attack with the bells my day isn’t even close over. It literally just started. I go find my seat and I’m ready to learn but no, I have about five kids surrounding me all saying, “Can I borrow a pencil?”, “Can I borrow a pencil?”, “Can I borrow a pencil?”, and by the tenth time  my head is about to explode and just say, “NO! Pencils are so cheap for a reason, go buy one!” But no, being the kind gentleman I am, I just say, “No, I’m sorry, I’m out.” And it always works. Finally, I get to pull out MY pencil and MY paper and get to work on whatever we are supposed to be working on.

            In all the rooms I go to while I’m there I can see a window. I’m always daydreaming about how peaceful it looks outside. All the autumn leaves falling off the trees are so much more beautiful than the ugly faced woman I’m supposed to be looking at for an hour and a half “learning”. I find these ugly women just pointless. What can I not learn from the internet that I can learn from her? But the worst part about it is when she pretends to act like my mother. I’m sorry I already have a mother who just nags and nags and nags all day long. So thanks, but I only want one mom. Its times like this that I remember back to Elementary School when all the teachers talked in such a sweet little voice to all the kids but now all of that has changed.

            On my way out of there I get to listen to that just terrible bell ring just one more time before I have to get on the germ infested death trap again because my mom doesn’t want to get off her lazy butt to drive me home in a beautiful SUV. So lucky me, I get to hear the “Vroom, Vroom.” of a prehistoric engine that sounds like it has been held together with duct tape for the past ten years. Just seeing the sights of the horrible building in the distance as we drive away makes me want to smile because the day is so close to being over. Ten more minutes pass sitting in an old, cut up, leather seat that smells. Then, finally, I get to walk down the stairs of the ugly machine and onto the asphalt of my neighborhood. Walking up the beautiful stairs to my house just makes me want to cry as I look back to see a little pixel of yellow drive away to some place that I don’t care about, hopefully off a bridge but we can’t all get what we wish for. I walk into my temperature controlled living room and fall into hibernation until tomorrow.